now that's racing

Six kegs, scantily clad cheerleaders on the podium, a late nip at the line when the leader paused for a beer grab, a "tequila shortcut" on the course, and a heckling contest. Sounds like fun. Sounds like the inaugural Single Speed Cyclocross Championships.

OK, it's old news (a month old). But after wrapping up the last weekend of the 'cross season, I came across this and realized...*that* was the race I wish I were at. Once upon a time, mountain bike racing was the antithesis of the road racing scene, for better or worse, with a number of racers indulging in "a rolled one and a cold one" right at the finish line (and some before the start line). Even a couple years ago, 'cross was sort of the bastard child offspring of the two, and the racers reflected it, in a bit of laissez faire racing, if there could be such a thing. Now it seems 'cross is the fastest growing segment in competitive cycling (the NY Times is weighing in on it no less) and with it, the fields are twice as crowded, and there seems to be more of an icy roadie vibe.

I saw a couple of Cat 4s nearly come to blows over some mid-race skirmish. Another guy was taunting a fellow racer after beating him, and not in a friendly "nice race man" kind of way. I thought, wtf? Cat 4? You just came in 2oth in Cat 4 and you're taunting someone? Why don't you go find some middle school and challenge some kids to 3-on-3? For the record, I finished 17th (on less than three hours of sleep, but that's another story), and while I rode a pretty clean race, it quickly became a 3-way battle for me, only half a lap into it. Maybe it's just me, but if you're in the FIRST LAP of a race, and you're watching a gap open up in front of you, I think you need to let somebody by, somebody that will close that gap. Sadly, the 3-4 inches of snow off the course prevented normal passing outside of a couple areas.

So instead of staying in the "ant march" at the front of the pack for as long as I could, I got caught up in a grudge match. I eventually dropped the other two guys, but not before we were well out of sight of the leaders. All because a single speeder couldn't mind his gap. I'm not blaming it on his single-speedness (mind you, I was riding a solo and I had no problem putting him away, and a couple of geared guys to boot), but a decent racer should know when he's holding up the field (IN THE FIRST LAP), and be decent about it. Of course, I could have been a little more vocal, like "Close that gap, man, or let me!" Oh well, racing's all about learning what to do better next time, right?

Still, reading about the SS 'Cross Championships in Portland, it made me realize that I was at the wrong race. Yeah, we had our share of castaways, like the guy who still cross-dressed, even though it didn't get double series points this year, and a couple of messenger types who were dressed for work and still made top ten, but there was just a lot of that bitter roadie energy this time around. Whatever dudes. It made me hungry for a winter alley cat.